Leah Warwick: Hi, everyone. I’m Leah Warwick, and you’re listening to The Admin Edge. This episode was recorded at the Administrative Professionals Conference 2025, in Seattle, with our wonderful host for most of the episodes this season, Debra Coleman, talking to guest Becky Kaapuni, a trainer at this event, about how to uncover and communicate your unique value. Now, here’s Deb and Becky from the show floor at APC.

Debra Coleman: Well, hello, and welcome back to The Admin Edge podcast. I am so excited to be sitting down this afternoon with Ms. Becky Kaapuni. She is the founder of the EA Social Club, [and is the] EA Direct Access Concierge Recruiting founder as well. She is also an executive assistant at Salesforce. She is also an author of The Unstoppable EA. Amazing.

00:01:00

Becky Kaapuni: It just keeps coming and coming, I know.

Debra Coleman: It does. I mean, my goodness. And also a trainer here at APC Seattle. Who better, friends, to talk to us about communicating our value than Ms. Becky? So, thank you for joining us this afternoon.

Becky Kaapuni: Of course. I am so excited to be here, and I’m really excited to be spending time with you. And I’m really excited to see your session later.

Debra Coleman: Well, thank you for that. [laughter] Well, let’s get into communicating our value. You and I have been chatting a bit offline about it, so I’m really excited to share your expertise with everybody. Let’s see. You’ve mentioned before that your career involved a profound personal metamorphosis. That sounds really powerful, honestly. It does. So what was that turning point where you realized you needed to start advocating for your own worth?

00:01:45

Becky Kaapuni: Yeah, I mean, I pretty much came to that conclusion after I started bouncing around job to job, right? I was originally in publishing, and then I moved to the wine industry, and then I moved to investment banking, and that’s when I really, really started my career. From investment banking, I then went into tech. I am located in San Francisco. I have been a part of tech for many, many years at this point, and it can be a brutal environment. There is a lot asked of you. You are working crazy, crazy hours, and it’s very easy for people not to value you. You are seen as a subordinate. You are just the help. You are just an assistant.

There came a point in my life where that just didn’t sit with me anymore, and it really came as I started to do my own healing. I started unpackaging how I was raised, how I was raised affecting how I was showing up today, and really digging into whether that was serving me or not.

00:02:55

I was no longer, or I was never an empowered woman. What really started changing for me was that I started developing myself. I started reading books. I went out and started upleveling. I didn’t realize at the time that I could uplevel from where I was. I didn’t have the same perspectives that I have now, but it was all a starting point, right?

Then, when I got to the point where I was starting to write The Unstoppable EA, I feel that that really just broke me wide open. How was I going to write a book, put it out into the world, and not be 100% authentic about where I was coming from? And that even included my trauma. So, I think that when you get to a certain point or a certain age, you start reflecting a lot on your life, what got you here, if it’s working anymore, and I love being an EA.

00:03:54

At the end of the day, I love the work that I do. I love supporting other people. So, how was I going to do that without sacrificing myself?

Debra Coleman: Tremendous insight. That’s amazing. I love that you sort of pointed out the intersectionality between who we are as a person and then who we are in our career.

Becky Kaapuni: Yes. And I have to say that because, for the first 20 years of this career, 17-20 years of this career, my whole identity was my career. If I had a bad day at work, it ruined my week. I felt like I wasn’t valuable anymore because I couldn’t be valued.

If we are going into work and we are expecting others to bring us that validation—I mean, this could even happen at home, your partner, your friends, whoever it is—then you’re not pulling it from yourself.

00:04:51

I will tell you every single day that the person you need to love more than anybody else in this world is yourself, because you are what you’ve got. So invest in it, love it. You are your best friend. Make yourself whole.

Debra Coleman: Excellent words, so inspiring. That’s so true and something we absolutely need to remember, especially in our roles where it’s so easy to get lost.

Becky Kaapuni: So easy. When you start investing in yourself, you will represent yourself completely differently to your executives.

Secondly, one of the issues that we see that is really common is that I support my executive. I do things for my executive. My executive leads me. We need to reframe that and create more of a leadership role for ourselves.

00:05:44

So, I strategically create positive impact in my executive’s day, so they have time to work on their goals and focus, right? It’s all about the ROI that we’re bringing in return. Listen, your executive does not care what you are doing in your day. They care about what you are producing for them, how you are showing up for them, how their day is getting easier because you are a part of it. And a lot of times, they don’t even realize, so it’s quantifying that.

Keep those numbers for your reviews. Make little notes. If one week you cleared eight hours for your executive, make a little note so that you can bring that up in your review, that you actually gave them time back. If you are saving the company money, how much money have you saved them? What was it around? Make little notes. This is also stuff that you can use on your résumé.

Always be thinking: How are you the best at what you do? What sets you apart? And don’t think of it as like, “I have so much ego.” I think that’s the other thing we get caught up in. People are too afraid to advocate for themselves because they’re too needy, they need too much, they want too much.

00:06:59

I was just talking to you about all the EAs I know who do not put down their full hours worked. People are leaving money on the table. They are not advocating for themselves. So when there is somebody like me, who is going to put in the extra ten hours that I worked so that I get paid because that’s what I worked, then it’s a disservice because a lot of people are not truthfully owning their own work. So, I think on both sides we need to show up more.

Debra Coleman: Excellent. The messaging I’m getting from you is so strong. I couldn’t agree more. I’ve heard other thought leaders like yourself, in our EA space, talk about treating yourself. If it’s hard to grasp what you’re saying, to treat yourself like an entrepreneur. If it was your business, how would you conduct yourself?

00:07:50

Becky Kaapuni: Yes. And I know I say it in my book, and I try and say it all the time, but you are the CEO of your own life.

Debra Coleman: That’s it.

Becky Kaapuni: And I learned this by watching my CEOs. So, why are our executives—why are they networking? Why are they pouring into themselves? How is it okay for them, but it’s not okay for us? Okay, that is wrong. It is very much just as okay, if not more important, for you to network than it is for them, because they’re already at this level where people know who they are. We need people to know who you are.

Debra Coleman: That’s right. Creating value. Absolutely.

Becky Kaapuni: Yeah, and your voice.

Debra Coleman: And your voice, that’s right. Training that comes with time, but you’ll get—every time you use it, it gets easier and better and stronger.

Becky Kaapuni: Just like AI, which I’m going to throw into every conversation I have today. [laughter]

Debra Coleman: Here she goes with the AI. Love it.

Becky Kaapuni: Use AI, people. It’s there to help you. It’s your assistant.

Debra Coleman: I second that. I cosign that, absolutely. Okay, well, Ms. Becky, a lot of executive assistants talk to me sometimes about how they feel invisible. That’s definitely, I’m sure, a conversation you’ve had, too, out here, especially here at the conference.

00:09:05

And their work goes unnoticed. So, for any EA who might be listening right now who feels invisible or undervalued, like saying, “You know, Becky, I hear you and that sounds really good, in theory, but I just can’t make that leap,” what is maybe something that they can do next week, when they get back to the office, something tangible or is it a mindset shift? What can they do to just take that first step towards what you are advocating?

Becky Kaapuni: Yeah. I mean, I would say mindset shift is everything, literally. In fact, my book is all mindset. Everything, for me, was changing my mindset to believe that I was valuable, right? So, once you reframe, then you can start receiving that better.

00:09:52

So, instead of just taking care of my executive, I am a partner to my executive. It’s giving back those words of power, so it’s reframing. I contribute to the ROI of our company by XYZ. It’s putting together tangible facts that people can look at and they can realize. I do not believe that you need to uplevel by going to another position. I believe you can uplevel right where you are, and a lot of that comes by communication. It is telling them your value, and you do that by showing them. You have to do it by showing them, in numbers, the value that you bring.

00:10:42

So, even if you’re struggling to find, “Well, what value do I bring?” just think about all of the things that you touch in a day. If you are going to grab your boss’ lunch, you’re going, “Okay, that is not much value.” Well, you know what? It is, because you keep them nourished. You keep them strong. You are dependable. You are reliant [sic]. Think of the positive words and the ways that you can feed that. Also, if you’re struggling in that regard, go onto AI and ask it to reframe for you, then put stickies up all over your house. Remind yourself of those words. You are conditioning yourself.

Just like how society has changed over years, we are changing, too. We are reconditioning. Show up as the leader that you are. And that’s the other thing: You are a leader, so start talking from a point of somebody who leads.

Debra Coleman: I love that. Mindset will turn into action and turn into belief.

Becky Kaapuni: Absolutely. We are the thoughts that we believe. There are so many schools of training out there, and they all tell you this, that you are. We have so many thoughts in our day that are just on repeat, and if the wrong thought is in there, then you’re just beating yourself and beating yourself up.

00:12:01

But every time you practice, every day you start telling yourself positive things, it gets so much easier, and you feel so much better.

Debra Coleman: That’s what we want.

Becky Kaapuni: That’s what we want.

Debra Coleman: Especially in this day and age.

Becky Kaapuni: Yes.

Debra Coleman: Well, we have just a few minutes for a listener question. Are you up for it?

Becky Kaapuni: Absolutely.

Debra Coleman: All right, let’s do it. Okay, so Becky, a listener sent this question in for you: I often struggle with talking about my accomplishments—here we go, leaning into what you were just talking about—without feeling like I’m bragging. You literally just said that. What’s a good way to communicate my value to my executive, or even my team, in a way that builds authentic and professional—because not everybody is extroverted like you and I. So, how can someone who maybe isn’t that strong?

00:12:48

Becky Kaapuni: Yeah. I mean, the best way to handle that is to not look at it emotionally and to look at it tactically. So, instead of reacting to the feeling that it brings up, it’s sitting down and really thinking about the ROI. I’m going to keep going back to that. If you really explain your worth, you break it down in numbers to them, because that’s all they understand. If they knew how to do admin and they understood it, and they leaned in with that brain, then we wouldn’t have a job.

We are different people. They are there to be the CEO or the founder or the one who is driving a lot of this, and our job is to speak to them in ways that they will understand us. So, a good way to do that is to really get clear about how you save them time, what you bring back to the table.

00:13:47

And it could be across the board. Like, if you have helped to train admins but it’s not a part of your job, how much time and money have you saved them because you’ve leaned into that? If you have mentored admins, if you have taken on an executive while somebody went on mat leave, how much money did you save the company because you took that extra step to do that?

You may feel that you don’t have quantifiable things because maybe you feel like, oh, well, I’m not the EA to the CEO. I’m not really doing a lot of the strategic stuff. You actually are. you’re just not thinking about it in that way. Remember, speak from a leader’s point of view and not from an admin point of view, because you are worthy. You already own who you are, so show up like it.

Debra Coleman: Show up like it, exactly. Trust that you’ve been at this for a minute and you know what—yes.

00:14:46

Becky Kaapuni: And that’s the other thing: Lean on your mentors. Lean on the other people who have been there longer. Don’t look at it as like you’re in competition to them. I mean, being at a conference like this just shows that, right? I was so bummed that I couldn’t be in the other sessions because I have so much to learn from everybody else. That is what it’s about. It’s about curiosity, being open, and even if you feel that you have something on lock, somebody might think of something in just a little different way that could elevate you.

I’ll put in one more thing. Learn the calendar audit. If you want your executive to think that you’ve gone next level and that you are showing your capability, learn how to audit their calendar and show them that you’re doing that. That gives a clear representation of where they’re spending their time.

Debra Coleman: Pro tip.

Becky Kaapuni: Yeah, pro tip.

Debra Coleman: Interesting. I love that. But it’s also—I can see that being two-sided because now you’re also getting a 360 view of their time and how you can better support that, so it’s both of you are benefitting.

00:15:51

Becky Kaapuni: Yeah, and also learning not to be reactive in the moment by just moving a meeting right to an open spot, but thinking, what is a strategic way that I can align this in their day so that it makes sense?

Debra Coleman: Right.

Becky Kaapuni: And when they start seeing that you’re not making them change a conference room for every single meeting, or that you’re leaving them some leeway so they can go to the bathroom, or that you’re thinking about them in ways that nobody else is, then you’re showing them that support that they need. You are there to drive your executive’s goals forward, first and foremost. So, if they feel that, then usually they’ll lean in a bit more.

Debra Coleman: Okay, excellent. I love it. Communicating our value with Becky, fantastic. For those who are listening and want more of what you are telling us and sharing, where can we find you out there in the world?

00:16:45

Becky Kaapuni: Well, you can always find me on LinkedIn. I basically live on LinkedIn at Becky Kaapuni, or you can also go to www.beckykaapuni.com and find all about me.

Debra Coleman: Fantastic. I love it. We will do that, for sure. Thank you, Becky, for taking time.

Becky Kaapuni: Thank you. Thank you so much. It was wonderful to be here.

[music playing]

Leah Warwick: Thank you for listening to The Admin Edge, produced by the American Society of Administrative Professionals, original music and audio editing by Warwick Productions, with audio and video production by 5Tool Productions. If you liked this podcast, please leave us a nice review, five stars, and subscribe. If you’d like to submit a listener question, you may do so on our website at ASAPorg.com/podcast.