Executive assistants are often the first to notice when someone else needs help. 

You see the overloaded executive who could use another set of hands. You step in when a teammate is overwhelmed. You volunteer for one more project because you know it needs to get done. You’re the one people rely on because you’re organized, dependable, and willing to jump in when others need support. 

But what happens when you’re the one who needs help? 

Recently, I’ve noticed the same pattern in conversations with EAs, clients, colleagues, friends, and family. It made me realize this isn’t just a workplace issue. It’s a human one. 

Many of those who are quickest to offer help are often the most reluctant to ask for it or accept it themselves. They worry about inconveniencing others, taking up too much of someone’s time, or appearing less capable. 

The irony is that the very people who freely support others often struggle to receive that same generosity in return. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. I’ve been learning this lesson myself.  

The Overlooked Leadership Skill 

Most of us don’t wake up one day and decide we’re going to carry everything ourselves. It happens gradually.  

We become known as the person who figures things out. The one everyone calls. The one who always says, “I’ve got it.” 

Somewhere along the way, many of us confuse being dependable with being completely self-sufficient. They’re not the same thing. Being dependable doesn’t mean carrying every burden yourself. Instead, it means doing what’s needed to achieve the best outcome. Sometimes that includes inviting someone else to contribute or allowing someone else to support us. 

In my opinion, an overlooked, yet vitally important, leadership skill for assistants isn’t simply asking for help, but in fact recognizing when you need it and being willing to receive it. 

Receiving Help Is Part of Building Strong Partnerships 

Executive partnerships are built on trust. We want our executives to trust our judgment, rely on our recommendations, and delegate meaningful work to us. Yet sometimes we hesitate to extend that same trust to others when they offer to support us. 

Whether it’s asking a teammate to cover a meeting, requesting assistance on a large project, or leaning on a colleague during a particularly busy season, receiving support strengthens relationships. It creates opportunities for collaboration and builds resilience across the team. It also reminds everyone that success is rarely the result of one person carrying the entire load. We all need one another to succeed.  

Healthy partnerships aren’t one-sided. They involve both giving and receiving. 

Asking Better Questions 

One misconception about asking for help is that it signals dependence or weakness.  

In reality, experienced professionals ask for help differently than beginners. Rather than saying, “I have no idea what to do,” they ask focused, thoughtful questions: 

• Have you encountered this situation before? 

• Can you help me think through the best approach? 

• Is there a resource or process I’m overlooking or context I’m missing? 

Questions like these demonstrate ownership while inviting collaboration. They’re not handing the work to someone else. They’re accelerating learning, reducing unnecessary risk, and recognizing that better outcomes often come from shared thinking. 

Creating Systems That Support Collaboration 

Of course, asking for help is easier when the environment encourages it. That’s why our workplace systems matter just as much as our individual mindset. 

If you’re the only person who knows how to complete a process, asking for help becomes difficult. If no one has been cross-trained, taking time off feels impossible. If important procedures aren’t documented, every absence creates risk. 

Strong organizations don’t depend on heroic individuals who never need assistance. They build systems, document their procedures, and cross-train team members so others can step in confidently during routine vacations, unexpected illnesses, or periods of increased workload.  

The best workplaces don’t expect people to carry everything alone. They create cultures where asking for help is simply part of how work gets done. 

Practice Saying “Thank You” 

Here’s what I’ve been noticing in my own life lately. Receiving support graciously is often as simple as saying, “Thank you.” No further explanation required.  

I’ve been trying to practice this in the everyday moments that are easy to dismiss. When my husband suggested ordering dinner instead of cooking after a hectic day, I simply said, “Thank you.” When my sister offered to haul away a truckload of donations while I couldn’t be home to help, I let her take care of it. When a colleague offered to make the final edits on a project, I accepted.  

None of these moments were life changing, but each one required me to pause and resist the urge to decline the offer or explain why I didn’t need (or felt guilty accepting) the help. Instead, I simply accepted it with gratitude. Those small moments reminded me that receiving graciously is a skill. 

Let Others Show Up for You 

A recent work experience also heightened my awareness of what it means to receive help graciously.  

I support a nonprofit organization that’s led by a volunteer board of directors. Recently, one of the board members unexpectedly lost his wife after a sudden medical emergency. She had also been handling many of the organization’s administrative responsibilities. 

As the team began navigating this heartbreaking situation, I immediately offered to step in and help with some of the routine tasks until they had time to regroup. Shortly afterward, I received a text message from this board member. He let me know he had added me to the distribution list for one of the weekly communications his wife had managed. Then, while sitting in a hospital room during one of the most difficult moments of his life, he went on to suggest that we could alternate responsibility for the task so I wouldn’t have too much to do. 

I remember reading that message and thinking, Please just let me help. 

The task itself only takes a few minutes each week. Supporting him and the organization during that season wasn’t a burden. It was a privilege.  

His instinct, even in the middle of unimaginable grief, was to make sure he wasn’t asking too much of someone else. That moment reminded me how deeply ingrained this mindset is for so many of us. Even when we genuinely need support, we worry more about becoming a burden than allowing others the opportunity to help. 

It’s worth contemplating how often do we treat relationships like accounting ledgers, feeling the need to immediately repay every act of kindness. Gratitude is important, and reciprocity matters. But healthy relationships aren’t built on perfectly balanced transactions. They’re built on generosity that flows both directions over time.  

I’ve come to realize that receiving graciously honors the giver. Sometimes accepting someone’s kindness is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. 

Practice Receiving 

So here’s my challenge for you: Pay attention to how you respond the next time someone offers to help you. 

Do you automatically say: 

• “I’ve got it.” 

• “I’m fine.” 

• “You don’t have to do that.” 

• “I don’t want to bother you.” 

What might happen if you replaced those responses with: 

• “Thank you.” 

• “I’d appreciate that.” 

• “Yes, that would be helpful.” 

Remember: Receiving graciously honors the giver. 

Asking for help doesn’t diminish your value as an executive assistant. In many cases, it demonstrates the very qualities organizations value most: sound judgment, self-awareness, and a commitment to delivering excellent work.