Early in my virtual assistant business, I supported an executive who regularly said something to me that I didn’t quite understand at the time. She’d say, “Just tell me what you need from me today.” 

I remember thinking, “Why do I need to tell you what you’re supposed to do?” 

We had a weekly call. We reviewed our priorities. We had a shared project management system where everything was documented. Her tasks were right there in front of her. They even showed up in her inbox. Why couldn’t she just look at the list and see what she needed to do each day? 

I didn’t say that, of course. I simply told her what I needed from her in order to keep making progress on the things I was responsible for. But it took me years to fully understand why she needed me to do this for her. 

My Executive Didn’t Need More Information 

Today, as a business owner myself, I understand her situation much differently. She wasn’t incapable of managing her responsibilities. She wasn’t ignoring the project management system. And she certainly wasn’t asking me to think for her. She was carrying a lot. She needed me to help her focus on what mattered most in that moment. 

Her inbox was overflowing. Her business required her attention in multiple directions. There were things happening in her personal life, too. Looking back, I can also see signs that she was probably navigating some level of burnout. 

She knew there was a list. What she needed from me was help narrowing the list. She didn’t need to see everything that could possibly use her attention. She needed someone she trusted to say, “These are the two things I need from you today so I can keep everything else moving.”  

Sometimes the System Isn’t the Problem 

I had another experience earlier in my career that I understand differently today, too. 

In Myers-Briggs personality terms, I’m an ESTJ (Extroversion, Sensing, Thinking, Judging). Organization, structure, and getting things done come fairly naturally to me. Years ago, I worked with a business development vice president who was an INTP (Introversion, Intuition, Thinking, Perceiving). We were almost type opposites. And she could never seem to keep her inbox cleaned up or her desk organized. I could not understand it. 

I would help her clean everything up. We would create files. We would categorize things. We would get her inbox under control. Then a few weeks later, we’d be right back where we started. 

At the time, I kept thinking we needed to fix the system. What I understand now is that the systems that worked for me, at my desk, in my role, did not necessarily work for her. 

I also understand a lot more today about neurodiversity and the different ways people process information, organize their work, and manage competing demands. And life experience has given me an even bigger dose of perspective. Because now, sometimes, I’m the person with the overflowing inbox and the desk that needs attention. 

Reducing Your Executive’s Cognitive Load 

For executive assistants, knowing whether you’re dealing with a systems issue or a capacity issue matters tremendously. 

It’s easy to become frustrated when you’ve already sent the email, updated the project plan, added the reminder, and put the information on the calendar, only to have your executive ask: “What do I need to do today?” 

Your first reaction may be, It’s all right there. And technically, you’re correct. But accessing information and processing information are two different things. 

Your executive may be juggling dozens of projects, decisions, meetings, emails, interruptions, problems, and priorities. Each one requires mental energy. Then we hand them another list and expect them to figure out which three things matter most.  

This is where an exceptional administrative professional can add tremendous value. You can help reduce their cognitive load. 

Don’t Just Manage the Work. Help Filter It. 

Think about how you communicate with your executive when you need something from them. 

Instead of saying: “Here are the five projects we have open.” 

Try: “I need these two decisions from you today. The rest can wait.” 

Instead of forwarding another email with “FYI” at the top, ask yourself whether they actually need to see it. If they do, tell them why. 

Instead of saying: “Don’t forget to review the proposal.” 

Try: “I need your approval on pages 3 and 7 so I can send this to the client by 3 p.m.” 

Instead of waiting for your executive to ask what they need to do next, be ready to tell them: “Here are the three things I need from you today to keep everything moving.” 

This is strategic administrative support. You are using your visibility across projects, priorities, deadlines, and commitments to help your executive focus their attention where it will have the greatest impact. 

Learn How Your Executive Actually Works 

There’s another important lesson I wish I had understood earlier in my career. Your goal is not to make your executive work exactly like you do. 

This can be particularly difficult for highly organized administrative professionals. We find a system that works beautifully for us, so naturally we think it should work beautifully for everyone else. But it doesn’t. 

Some executives need a dashboard. Some need a printed list. Some need a morning email with three priorities.  

Some need you to catch them between meetings and say, “I need five minutes and two decisions.” Some need visual reminders. Others tune them out.  

Some executives thrive with detailed project management systems. Others will never voluntarily open one no matter how beautifully you build it. 

The question isn’t, “Why won’t they use my system?” 

The better question is: “What system will help this person succeed?” 

That may require some experimenting. It may require adapting your communication style. And it may mean accepting that the most efficient system for you isn’t necessarily the most effective system for them. 

Attention Management Is Strategic Work 

Administrative professionals often underestimate the value they provide when they help an executive determine what deserves attention. 

You are not simply tracking tasks. You are helping manage capacity. 

You are identifying bottlenecks. You are sequencing work. You are closing loops. 

You are making sure decisions happen at the right time. 

You are helping protect your executive’s attention so they can use it on the work that requires their expertise, authority, or judgment. That’s strategic partnership. And sometimes it looks incredibly simple. “Here’s what I need from you today.” 

Years ago, I thought my client was asking me that because she couldn’t manage her own task list. Today, I understand that she was giving me an opportunity to do something much more valuable. She was trusting me to help her focus. 

What Does Your Executive Need from You Today? 

I challenge you to take a look at your executive’s workload through a different lens this week. Ask yourself these questions:  

• Where are they the bottleneck? 

• What decisions are waiting for them? 

• What information are you asking them to process that you could summarize instead? 

• What can you handle without involving them at all? 

• What are the two or three things they truly need to give their attention to today? 

Don’t make them search for the answer. Tell them. That simple shift may be one of the most valuable ways you can support them. 

Help Them Focus on What Matters Most 

Your executive probably doesn’t need another task list. They already have plenty of systems, messages, and reminders telling them what needs their attention. What they may need most from you is help cutting through the noise – recognizing what’s most important, identifying what needs a decision, and keeping things moving without requiring them to sort through everything first. 

Sometimes the most strategic support you can provide is also the simplest: “Here’s what I need from you today.” 

When you can confidently say that, you’re doing more than managing a task list. You’re helping your executive focus their time, attention, and energy where they can make the greatest impact.