Leah Warwick: Hi everyone, I’m Leah Warwick and you’re listening to the Admin Edge. Here at the American Society of Administrative Professionals, we offer an ASAP Career Stages Framework, resources, and community to help you build your personalized career path. We’re also fortunate to welcome experts from around the world to our events, including EA turned career coach Ruth Kilah.

Here’s me and Ruth, chatting about career progression and courage for EAs at the ASAP event EA Ignite.

Hi, I’m Leah Warwick, Senior Content Manager for the American Society of Administrative Professionals, and my guest today is Ruth Kilah, founder and CEO of Hoxton Hyde Career Coaching and Mentoring, and a speaker at this event EA Ignite. Welcome to the podcast, Ruth.

Ruth Kilah: Thank you for having me. It’s such a pleasure to have you here from Australia, so excited to be here.

Leah Warwick: I can’t believe it’s gone so quickly.

Ruth Kilah: Right?

Leah Warwick: When you’re listening to this, we’re on day two of EA Ignite.

Ruth Kilah: And what a time it has been. So many great speakers, and it’s just the excitement in the air here, everyone I come into contact with and speak to, they’ve just got so much positive feedback and everyone says the same thing, information overload, positive, so much great information they’re taking back to their organisations and should be sharing with their fellow EA, so it’s yeah, it’s really nice.

Leah Warwick: It’s really nice to hear. And the energy is so infectious. What a time to be alive and to be here with you. I’m so grateful, and to talk to you because I’m so curious, as a career coach, I’m sure people come to you with all kinds of questions and challenges. What is the most common challenge that EAs are coming to you with?

Ruth Kilah: I’m going break it into two parts.

The most common kind of challenge commentary that comes to me is “Ruth, there’s a lack of opportunity out there for executive assistants.” That they want to grow further in their career, whether that be into another role, stay within the EA role, but expand their band with whatever that may look like for them. And it’s that lack, they say that, the common word “lack” of opportunity there for me. Now, that’s a symptom. That’s a symptom of two key main causes and that is: executive assistants lack clarity on what they want next or what that other growth is.

And secondly, they lack the ability to effectively and clearly communicate that. If we can’t, we don’t know what we want. And if we aren’t able to clearly communicate that with others, how can we expect others to help us?

So they’re the two main things, I would say, in terms of a symptom, but there’s so much opportunity out there. If executive assistants aren’t clearly articulating and asking for what they want, then they get a blank on an opportunity response and that’s obviously not the case.

Leah Warwick: That’s really helpful. Clarity and communication, that really really hits. What questions should an EA ask themselves, to getclarity on themselves to uncover what growth means to them personally, not just by title or salary?

Ruth Kilah: Yeah. You know, as I shared in my keynote today, growth is such a personal journey and we should never compare that to others. What’s one person’s journey, growth journey, is going to be completely different to somebody else in terms of what they actually desire and what’s actually aligned for them, ethically, morally. So it’s a very personal journey.

The two key areas that I would encourage executive assistants to look at first and foremost is their strengths, so where they already are doing amazing work, getting really great results and their passion. And to look at their passionate interest, where they feel they want to expand their learning more and they have a feeling, an inkling, that they might be good at something.

I tell the story to clients that when I was in corporate as an executive assistant, I had this innate feeling that I’d be good at marketing and it’s one of my biggest regrets that I didn’t lean into it more in corporate. I regret being not more curious about it; because now being in business owner, I’m quite good at it. Turns out I was correct.

Ruth Kilah: So, trust that intuition, if you feel that you might be good at something, follow that intuition and see where it leads.

Leah Warwick: Yes, like when your heart starts to be a little faster. Are you feeling yourself getting excited about something or energized by something? Listen to that, because that’s your body’s way of telling you, and hopefully it can connect to your mind, and you can be like, Oh, that’s what I love. That’s what I am interested in, that fills my cup; because what fills your cup might not necessarily fill someone else’s cup, but that doesn’t matter.

Ruth Kilah: Exactly. Some assistants love doing expenses. It was the worst thing for me, but there are executive assistants who love that. And the world needs that. You need to have your thing and then you will stand out for your speciality.

Leah Warwick: You have something that nobody else has in the same way that you have it.

Ruth Kilah: Exactly. I firmly believe that and we’re all very unique, so tapping into what makes you unique and what you love, that’s the winning combination.

Leah Warwick: Alright, let’s get into misconceptions. There are so many out there. What’s one of the biggest misconceptions you see about career growth for administrative professionals?

Ruth Kilah: Number one is that they say to me, “Ruth, I need to go and get a bachelor’s. I need to go and get an MBA.” Now I am the biggest supporter of further education and continuous learning, the biggest supporter. However, there’s a huge misconception, especially in the executive assistant space, that we can’t apply for a role, we can’t do something until we have this accreditation or a qualification or MBA.

Employers value your expertise and experience in a particular area. What executive assistants need to do is to clearly and effectively communicate their experience and skills they’ve gained because employers value that, because that tells a story of how you can bring impact on value into an organization.

Now I’ve got a great story on this, and that is a client of the previous client of mine, she moved from an EA role into an HR leadership role. She didn’t have an HR degree or a bachelor’s. When she stepped into that HR role, it made sense for her because she had been delivering impact and value, stepping in and covering for the HR leader at the time. It made sense for her to make that move.

And when she did, her employer was happy for her to get and support the funding of that HR qualification. And that’s the perfect time to get that qualification because she’s living and breathing that HR role and she’s able to implement that theory real time in her role. And what the biggest mistake is with a lot of learning and development, is when there’s overconsumption of information and not enough implementation. And we learn by what I call the 2D and the 3D, by actually consuming the information and doing the thing, getting the evidence and the skills that are going to be valuable to employers.

I’m not saying don’t get or do go for a qualification or another bachelor’s or MBA, whatever you want, but do it in tandem with that practical implementation. It is critical. Otherwise, it is almost useless. And I can tell from experience because I have done a bachelor’s in business management and use nothing of it because I went straight out of school with that degree and then used nothing of it. All my business skills were learned from being an EA.

Leah Warwick: I agree with that because you have to apply what you are learning. If you just absorb it and you don’t actually use it in your work. I would argue you’re not really doing what is required.

I have a certification. I have to use what I learned in that certification. It’s not just a badge that I have. No, you have to use what you learned. And there’s no shortcut. Sometimes people think, well, if I get an MBA, then I’m going to become this or that. That’s not necessarily a shortcut. Not these days, anyway. You have to really prove in the role and in your work that you can do these things and that you have proof of that.

Certification can be a first step of proof in that, I got the certification. Maybe I took a test on it. I proved my knowledge. That’s the first step. I proved my knowledge. And then the next step is, I proved that I’m good at what I do, but that is a different thing. So I’m glad you brought that to the forefront because it is important to talk about.

Ruth Kilah: Yes.

Leah Warwick: Speaking of growth, how do you help EAs evaluate when it’s time to grow within their role or within their company versus exploring opportunities elsewhere?

Ruth Kilah: I come across many executive assistants that want further growth and progression in their organization and feel frustrated, you know, like “They won’t promote me.” When a lot of the time, there’s not an ROI, a return on investment to promote that person to a certain role. So it comes down to business. A lot of executive assistants feel that it’s a personal thing, but it actually comes down to business, as business as brutal as it is. There needs to be a dollar value to you moving into that role, and if you can fulfill the needs of that role and deliver the impact and value that is required of that role. So, you need to make sure you’re assessing if is there actually a genuine opportunity for you to move into that role or get promoted within your role in your organization. And is there going to be a space there?

Once you’ve assessed that, then it’s about really making sure and asking yourself, have I been clear in what I want and clearly communicated my impact and value for that opportunity and growth potential in the organization? Once those two areas are ticked, then I would say look elsewhere. You always want to try and capitalize where you are because your current employer, they know your impact and value. They’re seeing it every day, they’re experiencing it. It just might be that you’re not clearly communicating what you’re already delivering.

Leah Warwick: Yes, and it’s important not to make assumptions without asking, right? Because you might think, “My boss would never” or “This position doesn’t exist right now, so it’s never going to exist.” How do you know unless you ask? And the answer still could be no, but you haven’t even taken that step to see.

Ruth Kilah: I literally had a client last week that believed that there wasn’t an opportunity in her organization. And we just restructured a small bit of a conversation that she had with her executive. And now a whole new opportunity has arisen from that, because she’s communicated in a different way and was clear.

Leah Warwick: Yes, back to clarity, back to communication. Let’s keep hitting that because it’s vital. It truly is.

Ruth Kilah: Yes.

Leah Warwick: Speaking of, what are some underrated skills or habits that often separate thriving EAs from those who plateau in their careers?

Ruth Kilah: Strong communicators. They’re able to communicate their value. They are reflective about what they have done or not done. They’re able to reflect on the actions or inactions. They’re courageous. They’re still scared, but they move regardless. They know that the more they put themselves out of this comfort zone, the closer they bring themselves to their goal.

I would also say that they’re hugely responsible for their own development. They’re radically responsible. They never blame others or their organization. They respect their past, their journey. They say, “I played a part in this,” whether it was a good partnership or not, or maybe “I stayed too long in that organization, but now I’m taking ownership for my own growth.”

They have radical responsibility for their own action or inaction, and they take their growth into their own hands. They don’t wait for anyone else. When they see opportunity, when they see market changes, they need to move and they want to be ahead of the curve.

Leah Warwick: I love that Ruth because it’s true. We are in the driver’s seat of our own life. You are the main character of your own life. So, make that move.

I often feel like courage is doing it scared, right? You’re still scared, but you do it anyway. That’s the brave part. That’s the courageous part. Having a conversation with your boss about compensation, maybe some people don’t think that’s scary, but most people are a little nervous going into a conversation like that. The courageous people do it anyway, right? And the courageous people, they ask one year and they get a “no,” and the courageous people will do it again the next year, regardless of that “no” the previous year. Because they know it could be “yes,” because it’s always going to be a “no” if you don’t ask.

Ruth Kilah: Exactly.

Leah Warwick: It’s always a “no” if you don’t ask; and you’re so right, we hear that a lot when it comes to coming to events like these, in getting the buy-in. Sometimes they’ll ask the first year and get a “no.” The second year they might get, “You can come, but just you.” The third year, they come back and say, “I learned all this great stuff and I’m putting it into work and you can see, but I would love more people to come so they can attend other sessions.” So, sometimes it can take multiple years to get the full vision of what you want. If your full vision is “I want to go and I want my team members to go,” yeah, that might not happen overnight. Same thing with with a raise or promotion or anything that you wan. Maybe you want to do more of the event planning at your company, maybe you’re really into that. Maybe at first it’s a “no” because they’re like, “We’re not really experiencing that, we don’t really have the proof,” right?

Leah Warwick: But if you just show up, and you come with data, evidence, and facts; over time, it’s either going to work out where you are or it’s going to work out somewhere else. With a lot of the most successful people in life, it’s not that they’re necessarily smarter than anyone else or that they have more skills or talents. It’s that they are determined.

Ruth Kilah: Yes. I come back to that all the time. They understand that they need to take responsibility. They want to be in the driver’s seat of their growth.

I’ve had quite a few clients say to me, “I want to invest. I want to do this myself, because I don’t want anyone to claim ownership of my investment. This is my journey and I’m going to own this and control this, because I want to be in the driver’s seat of my growth moving forward.” It’s the ultimate power of being in charge of your own life.

Leah Warwick: It’s the ultimate power of being in charge of your own life. I can’t think of anything more powerful than that really.

And we do have a listener question of one of our community members sent in for you. They wrote in: “How do you balance what you want for your career with what your company actually has room for?” That is an extension of what we’ve been talking about of, you’ve talked to your company about it and you’re starting to get the sense that maybe they don’t have room for it right now. What are your options?

Ruth Kilah: Look at the business case. What does a business need?What’s going to be a return investment for them supporting you in that development activity? And you might not be able to get all of it, in terms of every training course or everything you want; but it’s about trying to get what you can that aligns with the business. It’s got to make sense for the business.

And then it’s about looking at the other lane of development that doesn’t fit under your business: if it’s of high value to your development needs now and in the future. Think about the future—imperative at the moment—and make a decision off that.

It comes down to what is most important to you. My clients come to me and say, “This is important to me. This is a 10 out of 10 for me, that level of importance. I need it. I want to make this change.” If it is at that level of urgency and importance to you, go for it. If it’s a level five, level six, realistically, you’re not going to put the effort in. You’re not going to put the hours in. You’ve got to really care about it.

I would go with what you care about most and have your organization fund what they can, that makes sense for them. And look at covering the rest yourself, if that makes sense for your development, your stage of life, and what you are able to invest in. Everyone’s different.

Leah Warwick: That’s really good advice, because everyone is different, and it comes back to what you were saying earlier about how everybody has a different idea of what growth is for them. When it comes to where you work, what I’ve found is you will thrive in your organization if you’re an employee—regardless of what kind of role you have— if what you like doing and what the business needs are aligned. Then you’re doing great. You feel good about your work, you’re well compensated, all these things. When those things aren’t in alignment, that’s a struggle.

As a coach, I’m sure you’re so great at telling people that they have so many opportunities. It may not be at their organization, or it might. There’s so many free options as well.

Ruth Kilah: Learning to develop, the best that you can get is on the job.

Leah Warwick: Yes, yes. Or is there a local community, a volunteer group that, for example, if you want to do project management support, is there a local community soccer club with kids that needs management? That’s project management.

Ruth Kilah: Mm-hmm.

Leah Warwick: Don’t just think about it in corporate sense, but also in your practical life. It’s all experience. Think directly in how you can gain that experience, that training, build those skills, and there’s lots of free options out there.

And volunteer experience, I think that’s great for your life. Being a well-rounded person and learning in different ways, so it’s not just: I’ve only learned in college, or I’ve only learned in a corporate environment.

Ruth Kilah: Oh gosh, yeah.

Leah Warwick: It adds so much depth to your life. And I think that is also attractive to others who are looking for more well-rounded people.

I could go on and on all day about this. This is an amazing topic to get really into. But thank you so much, Ruth. Where can our listeners find you and learn more about your work?

Ruth Kilah: You can find me very frequently on LinkedIn, Ruth Kilah. You can find me on Instagram at hoxtonhyde or one word. And on my website, which is www.hoxtonhyde.com.au

Leah Warwick: Alright. Thank you so much, Ruth.

Ruth Kilah: My pleasure.

Leah Warwick: Thank you for listening to The Admin Edge, produced by the American Society of Administrative Professionals. Original music and audio editing by Warwick Productions, with audio and video production by 5Tool productions. If you like this podcast, please leave us a nice review, five stars, and subscribe. If you’d like to submit a listener question, you may do so on our website at asaporg.com/podcast.