Leah Warwick: Hi, everyone. I’m Leah Warwick, and you’re listening to The Admin Edge. This episode was recorded at the Administrative Professionals Conference 2025, in Seattle, with host Debra Coleman, Founder of The Seat Upstairs, and guest Kristine Goebel, EA turned CEO of Accompany Suite, LLC, talking about how to manage up with executives—such a juicy topic. So, let’s get into it, shall we? Here’s Deb and Christine, from the bustling show floor at APC. Deb speaks first.

00:00:43

Debra Coleman: From your experience, what would you say are potentially maybe the top three traits that administrative support professionals should develop when executing or exercising that managing-up mentality?

Kristine Goebel: Yeah, so top three things: First would be emotional intelligence, because if I don’t understand myself, my emotions can sometimes take over [and] I’m never going to be able to understand another person’s emotions and how that works. Clarity, so asking really good questions, learning how to listen. It’s so foundational, but we’re all terrible at it. Just the power of a good question and knowing how deep to go. And the other, I would say, is accountability because we have to hold ourselves accountable first. Sometimes we get afraid of getting in trouble or that we’re going to cause a problem, but if we’re not accountable to the things we say we’re going to do, we cannot hold them accountable to what they need to do. Emotional intelligence, clarity, and accountability would be the three things I would say.

Debra Coleman: So, what strategy have you seen work best for helping us help executives see the bigger picture

00:01:54

Kristine Goebel: I’d say this boils down to your mindset. This is a partnership, right? This isn’t correction. This isn’t trying to force your will or anything like that. This is about a relationship that, when we think of it as a partnership, we understand our part and their part.

And so we have to come always from the: What are their goals? What are they trying to accomplish? And, if you’re fortune enough that your company has a mission/vision/core value or core principles or whatever you call them, if you have a focus like that, everything that goes well or maybe doesn’t go so well can get tied right back to that.

Hey, that doesn’t reflect our core value of excellence in this way. How can we make it more excellent? And that way, you’re not saying, “Well, you shouldn’t…” Or, “I’m afraid I’m going to…” Well, I have to speak up, so how am I going to do that.

Debra Coleman: I love that because you’re right. It’s a different type of conversation. You’re leading from behind, but in a different way that still gives them the space and grace they need, but then also maybe gives you that confidence to [say], you know, we’re on the right track because I’m leaning into those core values that our company…

00:03:05

Kristine Goebel: Yeah. And I think, so often, we discount what they need from us, and so they’re looking—I was an executive assistant for years, and so once I started saying, “Hey, I want to make sure you understand that if you go this route, this is what’s going to happen.” And that changed the whole dynamic of the relationship, once I started speaking up.

Debra Coleman: Yes, exactly. And did you find that maybe the way you were viewed, or maybe the respect flowed easier between the two of you?

Kristine Goebel: Yeah. What’s interesting is I actually became a partner shortly after that once I started shifting, speaking up and stating what I needed and what the company needed. Because you know everything that’s going on, so the strategy became, “Hey, Kristine, what do you think we should do?” And you just become so influential in that. It takes time to become confident in that and walk in that “If I’m here, I belong here.”

00:04:03

So, just knowing that, that was a big turning point for me. So, yeah, as soon as I started speaking up, they started asking more questions, for sure.

Debra Coleman: I love that. Well, that probably is a wonderful segue into our other question that we have. Sometimes managing up does involve difficult conversations. It’s not all cheerleader and rah-rah. Sometimes you do have to go there a little bit. How can assistants then address or go about thinking about having those types of conversations with their leader without making it feel strained or awkward?

Kristine Goebel: Yeah, so what’s interesting about conflict is it—you think about it and then you’re like, it sounds like a bad word, but it’s actually the only way to be innovative and creative. There’s always some kind of conflict.

00:04:50

I would say the one thing I would encourage is to not be silent because the silence itself is a negative, unless it’s strategic. Sometimes it’s the timing. But if you stay silent when you know something, then who’s really at fault? You have to take responsibility for that.

But I would say just coming at it from questions like: “Hey, what do you think? If we took this different approach…” Just ask the questions. You want to ask open-ended questions: who, what, how, where, when, those kinds of questions. We don’t ask why—why’d you do that? We don’t ask those kinds of questions because people get defensive. But just lead with like, “Hey, there’s something I was thinking about I wanted to share with you,” so that one statement gives you a little more confidence, like now you’re on the hook for it. You have to share something. And then come behind it with an open-ended question.

Debra Coleman: That is great. I love that because it’s easing into [it]. No one likes to have a finger-wag or to say they’re doing anything wrong. But we hear from leadership saying, “I appreciate when my EA or my business partner has those conversations with me, because they’re saying things I need to hear. I don’t always want to be surrounded with yes-men or yes-women. ‘

00:06:05

Kristine Goebel: They often don’t. They really are looking for the—because you have such a high level of influence over every decision that gets made, and I think we need to embrace that a little bit more. Executive assistants, admin, anybody in that field, just understanding the impact that you actually have on an organization when you speak up.

Debra Coleman: That is perfect right there. Understand the impact that you have. That is it. That’s a struggle for many of us.

Kristine Goebel: Yeah, it was for me, too, for years.

Debra Coleman: Was it? So you get it. The struggle is real.

Kristine Goebel: I do.

Debra Coleman: Well, we do have time, if you’re up for it, for a listener question.

Kristine Goebel: Yeah, let’s do it.

Debra Coleman: Alrighty. Our listener asks: I sometimes feel nervous about pushing back on my executive’s requests, even when I know—maybe, for example, like a timeline isn’t realistic. How can I gain the confidence to speak up while still showing that respect and support? I think it’s leaning into what you just previously explained, but maybe in a specific situation, when maybe we’re in the moment, how can we do that?

00:07:07

Kristine Goebel: Yeah, just make sure that partnership is where your brain is at because our brains, they’ll just take over, that emotional—because the thought comes in and then the emotion’s like, no, don’t do it. So, just making sure we’re aware of our body language because your body language says everything. So, if you just sit up confidently, you’re going to speak more confidently. Whereas, if you’re like, oh, I’m scared, they’re going to sense it, right? Most of our communication is based on our body language, so make sure you’ve got a good posture going into it. Instead of pushback, “How can we accomplish this? Just so you know, I’ve got these other things going on, so which would you like me to not do?” And not in a condescending way, but kind of like—my executive used to say, “Just tell me A or B, like, can I do this or that? Give me two things to choose from, and then I’ll be good to go.”

00:08:00

And a lot of the executives seem to be similar, in that they just want something to choose from. “So, yeah, we can get that done as long as you know that these things won’t get done. Is that good? Are we good?” And then you just move on from it. It’s the small moments. Try not to overwhelm yourself with like one decision that’s going to completely take your career off or destroy it. It’s just the small influence. Try different things. If it doesn’t work, okay, just read their body language. Kind of see what you’re getting out of it. Mirror it if you need to, to try and get yourself more confident, or call out what you see. “It looks like you might be confused. Have I frustrated you?” Whatever thing you’re seeing, just notice it and acknowledge it, and then, “How can we move forward? How can we make this better, together?”

00:08:56

As long as you’re coming from the partner/relationship/together mentality, the rest of it, it all works itself out.

Debra Coleman: It will.

Kristine Goebel: Every single time.

Debra Coleman: Yeah, exactly. That’s excellent advice. I like that you mentioned sort of reading the room with your executive, like maybe—I know these conversations have to happen, or this managing up happens organically, but we also need to sort of know when that’s called for and to just be aware. Sometimes I’m sure you’ve heard, too, [that] other AAs or EAs will say, “Well, I tried that, Kristine, and it just didn’t work.” I like to say, “Well, when did you do it? Was it the right time?” Do you think that also plays?

Kristine Goebel: For sure. And how many times—any time we try something once and it doesn’t work, we certainly have to try—if you’re like 20 or 30 times, then we can talk about, hey, what happened? Let’s talk about, what did you see when that happened? Because sometimes we’re misreading what’s happening in the room, too.

00:09:55

So, it might take somebody who’s really good at communication in your workplace. Just say, “Hey, I’m going to go have this conversation. Can you just kind of watch the body language from the hallway? Or can you kind of be nearby, just to see how I’m delivering it?”

00:10:08

And open yourself up to getting that kind of feedback. It’s not criticism; it’s just trying to help you grow, so find somebody you trust and just ask for them to take a look at it. It’s definitely not pushback; it’s partnership. I think that’s the biggest takeaway is just remember that they’re on the same team as you.

Debra Coleman: Exactly. Well, Kristine, this has been awesome. This is information I think we really need to hear—honestly, in this time, exactly. If there are listeners out there who want more of what you are speaking about, and to learn more about what you offer, where can we find you?

Kristine Goebel: Yeah, so Accompany Suite, that’s A-C-C-O-M-P-A-N-Y-S-U-I-T-E dot com, or Instagram or Facebook. We have a YouTube channel with lots of freebies, videos, how-tos.

00:10:56

Debra Coleman: Oh, that’s great.

Kristine Goebel: Yes, we have plenty of stuff out there. If you want to connect with me directly—we have a LinkedIn page, obviously, too. You can connect with me directly on LinkedIn, so Kristine (with a K) Goebel on LinkedIn.

Debra Coleman: Exactly. Thank you for clarifying that, absolutely. Well, this has been great. Thank you so much for sharing your busy schedule here at APC with us.

Kristine Goebel: Yeah, excited to be here. Thank you for having me.

[music playing]

Leah Warwick: Thank you for listening to The Admin Edge, produced by the American Society of Administrative Professionals, original music and audio editing by Warwick Productions, with audio and video production by 5Tool Productions. If you liked this podcast, please leave us a nice review, five stars, and subscribe. If you’d like to submit a listener question, you may do so on our website at ASAPorg.com/podcast.