[00:00] LEAH WARWICK: Hi everyone, I’m Leah Warwick and you’re listening to the Admin Edge. At EA Ignite, guest host Monica Brooks interviewed one of our keynote speakers, Body Language expert Janine Driver. From sharing Body Language advice for EAs to show up with more confidence and executive spaces to how to reframe your thinking. Janine is a fountain of information, offering tips up to the very last second of our time with her. And I can’t wait for you to take it all in.

[00:43] MONICA BROOKS: Hello everyone and welcome back to the Admin Edge. My name is Monica Brooks and I am a people developer and consultant at the Empowered Edge. My guest today is Janine Driver, president of the Body Language Institute and a speaker at this event at EA Ignite. Welcome to the podcast Janine.

[00:58] JANINE DRIVER: Thanks Monica. I’m excited to be here and you have such a warm smile and you welcomed me in. I’m a Body Language expert and I’ve got to tell you you nailed it.

[01:05] MONICA BROOKS: Awesome. We went straight in for a hug. You do, right?

[01:09] JANINE DRIVER: I’m on the hug program.

[01:11] MONICA BROOKS: Okay. Okay. Never know. Like I have to read someone’s Body Language. I felt like you were on the hug program.

[01:17] JANINE DRIVER: I’m totally a hugger. Some people are on the handshake program.

[01:20] MONICA BROOKS: Yeah. Some people are on the hug. What about a pat on the back? Does that? Like, I find that sometimes that can be considered condescending. So that’s from Dicing. But I’m a Boston girl. So you would never really, unless it was like sports, like you got this, bro.

[01:36] JANINE DRIVER: Yeah.

[01:37] MONICA BROOKS: But in a business setting in Boston, I think that might be right a little wrong.

[01:42] JANINE DRIVER: Interesting. So sometimes we’re totally just a winging at you here, but like, I’ll give a hug and I’ll get a tap on the back back, like, you know, not a side, but just like, so almost a tap.

[01:56] MONICA BROOKS: Well, the tap on the back back should be with someone you already know. So I think if I saw you last year, I could do the double tap.

[02:03] JANINE DRIVER: Okay. But if I don’t know you, I want to come in for a quick hug and release.

[02:08] MONICA BROOKS: Okay. I’ve learned so much. This is amazing. So we’re here to talk about Body Language and you’re here at the Executive Assistance Conference. And I, in Nashville, we’re going to talk about Body Language. I know you’re taking the stage later, but let’s capture some things that our listeners can appreciate. So you often talk about how people make judgment in seconds, just like we had this very brief interaction. What can an EA do? And there’s in those first few moments where maybe they’re walking into a boardroom or they’re greeting executives and they immediately want to convey that credibility and that confidence.

[02:33] JANINE DRIVER: Okay. If we can just back up a smidge on that, our job as an EA person would be executive is to understand the brain of the other people in our brain. And if we can think of it in the context of a brain, when we go in and we talk fast, we talk loud, we come in hot, we come in too close too fast, you’re putting their brain whoever you’re meeting in this, like, you’re too much for me. Your activating was called the amygdala and the amygdala is, it’s like the security guard. It’s deciding, are you danger or are you a friend? And so if we can think about both our brain and the amygdala and the other person, one of the things we can do to prepare before going in the room is take a deep breath, a couple deep breaths, because what happens is if we’re nervous, I’m going in and I’m talking to the CEO of the CEOs, you know, I’m at this big event, if I’m nervous, I’m talking fast, I’m going in hot. Guess what? That makes them tune me out. I’m not looking powerful or confident.

[03:38] JANINE DRIVER: So you want to go in, take a deep breath before you walk in. And here’s the big thing, Monica, and you listening on the home front or watching, is our brain doesn’t know the difference between if the house is on fire or the toast is burning in the toaster. So when the amygdala goes off, it’s saying, danger, danger, get out. So what we want to do is breathe because it’s like if a lion is chasing you, you hold your breath as you’re running. If we can take a couple deep breaths, it tells our brain, relax. Everything’s okay. Your brain’s just trying to protect you and here’s the big thing. Get off your cell phone two minutes before walking in the room.

[04:14] JANINE DRIVER: When we get small and I’m looking at my phone and I’m looking down, number one, looking down, number two, I’m getting tight and I’m getting little teeny hits of dopamine. Did he like me on bumble? Did I get that email from on that job offer that I’m looking for? Did my kids write to me in these little teeny hits? Dopamine is the expectant of something good. It’s not the actual good thing. So if you’re on your phone before going into a meeting, you’re going in and you’re going to be potentially nervous, talking too fast, you’re stressed, your cortisol goes up when we’re on our phone because we’re getting small and our testosterone goes down and testosterone is connected to this confidence.

[04:43] JANINE DRIVER: So two minutes before, put your phone down. You want to take up space, be open. Don’t have your body language closed in any way, your arms crossed. Be open. Look around. Smile at people. Have good posture. A lot of people Monica think good posture is pull your shoulders back. That’s not good. You’re never going to do that.

[04:58] MONICA BROOKS: Tell me what it is then.

[05:00] JANINE DRIVER: So like you would never sit with shoulders pulled back. It’s uncomfortable. So I say where the wall meets the ceiling is a confident feeling. So I’ll explain what I mean. Okay. If I’m my second favorite superhero is Tony Stark, is Iron Man. So Iron Man has this little circle that keeps him alive in his chest. If that was firing a laser beam and you’re sitting and you’re on your cell phone, that laser beam hits the ground. You have bad posture. You want the laser beam to hit where the wall meets the ceiling is a confident feeling. How is this? So much better but relax your shoulders.

[05:42] JANINE DRIVER: So your shoulders are really tight. So it’s not about the, it’s lifting the chest up.

[05:47] MONICA BROOKS: Okay. But relax your shoulders, lifting the chest up.

[05:50] JANINE DRIVER: And as we’re walking, we’re just lifting our chest up. So when we do this and we take up space, chest up, you increase testosterone confidence, decrease that cortisol, that stress hormone. So now my brain, and I’m taking a couple deep breaths, my brain is calm, yeah, I want to go in calm. I don’t want to go in fast to loud. I want to go in really calm.

[06:10] JANINE DRIVER: Last tip here when you walk in the room is a quick nod. You’re doing it to me when the show began here, you’re like, let’s go. It’s like the caregiver gives to the kid who when the kid is in the dress rehearsal for playing the flute or dance recital or the kid falls down, they look at the parent and the parent does what? A quick nod. I acknowledge. You’re okay. I got used to when we walk into that space and you’re seeing people, you want a quick head nod, right here, a quick nod, it says that you see them and here’s the next thing.

[06:35] JANINE DRIVER: I said your name Monica right out of the beginning and you said mine. Many EAs unfortunately, we know that the name is important. So what many EAs will do and everybody, not just EAs, I used to do this. So I’m like them is we’ll say, oh my gosh, this was such a great interview. You were so prepared. Thank you so much, Monica. People do not pay attention until the articulating activating system, which is the awareness part of our brain that says we’re not a squirrel, we’re a human. In this connects to all the nerves in our brain, the articulating activating system is activated with new novel and familiar things like Monica.

[07:11] JANINE DRIVER: So if I say you were amazing, that interview was so awesome, it was the best interview I ever had, Monica. You didn’t hear anything until I said Monica.

[07:20] MONICA BROOKS: Yeah.

[07:21] JANINE DRIVER: So we want to start with the names first. I want to say Monica, I’ve been in a lot of interviews and a lot of podcasts and hands down. You’re prepared, kind, friendly. This was the best one I’ve been in.

[07:33] MONICA BROOKS: Are you saying that right now?

[07:35] JANINE DRIVER: Yeah.

[07:36] MONICA BROOKS: Stop it. Thank you.

[07:37] JANINE DRIVER: And I’m saying it. So when we go into these meetings, when I say Mike, Steven, Jeff, and at the end of the meeting, hey, Mike, I really appreciate what you shared earlier. Thanks, Steven, for what you talked about. The name is important. Right out of the gate. It acted. It’s like squirrel.

[07:49] MONICA BROOKS: Yeah. By the way, one last thing, if you’re in the meeting and you’re losing someone’s interest, you want to say something like, oh, by the way, you want to hear something cool, I want to hear something cool that happened just today.

[08:02] JANINE DRIVER: Yeah. And you reactivate the attention. I say that I’m articulating an activating system part of the brain is the part that’s the bouncer that decides who gets to come in or not. So it’s allowing information to come in. So we want to keep their brains engaged.

[08:13] MONICA BROOKS: I love this. This is such great information that I didn’t even realize we’d be talking about. I love talking about the brain and the amygdala, that fight or flight response that we’re going to get, but how it impacts us as we walk before we walk into a room.

[08:28] JANINE DRIVER: Yes. The amygdala wants to keep us safe. Right. So if we think, I want to take some deep breaths because if our glion is chasing us or if the house is on fire, you’re either breathing fast or you’re not breathing at all. But when we slowly breathe, it’s tricks our brain and says, it’s okay. I’m safe. The amygdala’s job is to keep us safe. So we want to let it know we are safe. We want to go in calm. We want to take a nice deep breath.

[08:50] JANINE DRIVER: We want to, that quick head nod when I go in like, hello, everybody. Hey, my case, Steve, that quick head nod. And then throughout the meeting, once we’re in there, you want to do these nods you’re doing with me, Monica, which is these slow nods that you’re listening. And what that does, it triggers dopamine in the brain, which is good stuff is happening. Ooh, she’s getting me. She understands me. Dopamine is not something as good right now. It’s not the reward itself, but it’s triggering excitement for the award.

[09:20] JANINE DRIVER: So in the podcast interview, in the meeting, when other people are nodding and talking, I mean, we want a nod and one last tip in the meeting. This is called steeplyling. When we do fingertips to fingertips, we used to see Mr. Burns do this.

[09:33] MONICA BROOKS: Yes. Some of those.

[09:35] JANINE DRIVER: Okay. President Donald Trump does this. Hillary Clinton does this. Oprah does this. George Clooney, Jennifer. So if you’re listening, we’re putting our fingers together and kind of just creating that steeple right now.

[09:47] MONICA BROOKS: Yes.

[09:48] JANINE DRIVER: So it’s called steeplyling. People can Google it at home too. It’s very popular term. We do not want to steeple the way you and I are steepling, which is we have our elbows on this table and we’re doing a high steeple. This is a CEO pose. As an EA, we do not want to come in overpowering the CEO. We want to support them. We want to be, we’re their right hand, we’re their advocate, we’re their executive counsellor here.

[10:10] JANINE DRIVER: So we want to steeple on the table, a nice low steeple and we want to steeple in two times. When do you think we would steeple? Let me give you a quiz. You at home in Monica. Okay. Do you think we would do this? By the way, it says power, authority and confidence. So do you think we would steeple when listening or do you think we should steeple when we’re talking?

[10:31] MONICA BROOKS: What do you think? I would say when you first ask the question, I would say when I’m listening because that shows I’m engaged and I’m like, I’m here, I’m present. You have my attention.

[10:42] JANINE DRIVER: Yes. 100% Monica, you just nailed it and if you guessed what Monica did, you’re right at home too. So we want to steeple when we’re listening and we’re preparing to talk. So now the person Michelle is coming before me or Steve, I’m next. I can bring out this nice low steeple. If I don’t want to put on the table, I can put it on my lap, but only if they can still see my steeple.

[11:04] MONICA BROOKS: Okay.

[11:05] JANINE DRIVER: So if my steeple is on my lap, but it’s under the table, we never want to hide our hands under the table. It says that we need reassurance, don’t take me seriously. And if we want the CEOs to take us as their advocate, as their executive sidekick, then we want to make sure we are coming to the table prepared. Do not have your hands folded. This is when we fold our hands, our kids do this when we say, please can I have sugar corn? Oh, I’m begging that begging. Please, yeah.

[11:36] JANINE DRIVER: And many, many EAs, many people, not just EAs, by the way, I coach CEOs that do this as well. This says, please like me. I’d much rather see a nice low steeple. It says, I’m prepared. Now, when we speak, if I steeple, then I become the CEO, I’m saying, oh, yeah, you think you’re powerful. I’ll tell you, I’m really running the show here.

[11:56] MONICA BROOKS: Interesting.

[11:57] JANINE DRIVER: And so we don’t want to speak with the steeple. The CEO can do that. Okay. When we start to speak, we want what’s called the basketball steeple. It says, if I’m holding a basketball on my hand, I’m going to say, hey, Mike, one of the things I found out about yesterday’s meeting is a BC. Okay. The basketball steeple, power, authority, and confidence with more than like ability. And that’s what we want.

[12:18] MONICA BROOKS: So Janine, you mentioned, as we were talking about someone who may come onto a room, and it’s too much, right? There’s too much. What about the ones that lack that confidence, that lack, even just within themselves, the courage to really do anything different, like, like, I could imagine that closed up feeling, but how is it just the posture, like, how can they even feel more confident within themselves that what they’re about to say or do or go into this room that they deserve to be there?

[12:47] JANINE DRIVER: Number one, give yourself a break, man. My kids, I’m a mother of three boys. I call everyone, bra. Listen, bra. Listen, bra. Give yourself a break. My sister goes, I should do a TikTok. How to say you’re a mother of three boys without saying you’re a mother of three boys. Should you call me bra, like five times? So I said, give yourself a break, because I think we sabotage ourselves when we’re saying, oh, I go in without confidence. I go in. My mother would call that stinkin’ thingin’, monogas, stinkin’ thinking. Get out of your stinkin’ thingin’. I’ll give you a quick example. I spoke at an event called Know Your Value. Mika Bersinsky from MSNBC. She has a show called Morning Joe with her husband, Joe Scarborough. I don’t know if it’s still in there. I don’t watch television, but I was the backer on the back of the room as a size 24. I was speaking for 20 minutes.

[13:33] JANINE DRIVER: Before me was Sarah Jessica Parker, Bobby Brown, the makeup artist, and Martha Stewart.

[13:40] MONICA BROOKS: Wow.

[13:41] JANINE DRIVER: By the way, none of them got staining ovation. No way, frankly, all three of them were talking heads. They weren’t really getting people engaged. For me, I’m in the back of the room saying, no, this audience wants takeaways that they can use immediately. I’m big about the takeaways. So my stinkin’ thingin’ comes in, and I’m like, oh my gosh, if they’re not getting a staining ovation, this is Sarah Jessica Parker. I mean, sex in the city. Come on.

[14:09] MONICA BROOKS: Yeah.

[14:11] JANINE DRIVER: I’m like, all these people, and I’m like, my stinkin’ thingin’ comes in. They’re going to say, what’s this back girl in the back of the room? I’ve never heard of Janine Driver. What can she teach me? And I had to say, my mother would teach me cancel-cancel. So I said, cancel-cancel. They are here because I have information that can make their lives easier, that can save them time, that can stop themselves from sabotaging their success, from being, increasing their ability to be respected, to knowing what people are saying without saying a word. See, I’m a person that I was almost kidnapped at 16.

[14:51] MONICA BROOKS: Oh, my goodness.

[14:53] JANINE DRIVER: I went from almost being kidnapped 10 years later, actually less than 10, from 16, 21, I worked for federal law enforcement. And my job was to protect myself, my family, my finances. And I took that and spilled it into this world. And I think my biggest success formula goes back to my mother, which is number one, notice our stinkin’ thingin’.

[15:18] MONICA BROOKS: Yeah.

[15:19] JANINE DRIVER: There’s a great guy out there, his name is Dr. Dan Siegel. And he talks about name it to tame it. If we can name what’s going on here, we can begin to tame it. So I’ll give you an example. If you’re anxious, I created a system, I call it zero to ten, name it to tame it. So I didn’t create name it to tame it, but zero to ten. So I say, whether you’re anxious or angry, I’m a hothead. So like, I go into meetings and I’m like, I’m hot, I’m like, I’m Boston girl and people are droppin’ the balls, I’m comin’ in hot. So whether you’re comin’ in hot like me and recovering ingrothalic or you’re anxious and have anxiety, name it to tame it.

[15:56] JANINE DRIVER: So zero to ten, seven below, let it go, eight, nine, ten, be anxious or angry then. Now let me give you an example. Okay. So nine, ten is how likely is this going to happen? You know, how likely, I’ll give you, one of my clients is Jesse Itzler. Jesse Itzler is a billionaire he’s married to the woman who invented Spanx, Sarah Blakely.

[16:21] MONICA BROOKS: Yes, Sarah.

[16:22] JANINE DRIVER: Okay. Yes, Sarah as well, both Jesse and Sarah, but Jesse is my primary client. Well, one time, Jesse said to Sarah, hey, our friends from across the lake here in Connecticut, the one guy that lives there is going to take a, what’s a call when you have a parachute and a boat takes you in your parachute?

[16:42] MONICA BROOKS: Parasailing.

[16:43] JANINE DRIVER: Okay. That’s it, Monica. Parasailing from his house to the other side of the lake to go to work today. And Sarah said, well, is that safe? Now Sarah is a billionaire. She invented Spanx. She has new shoes. I have them upstairs. They’re called sneaks. They’re a combination of sneakers and heels. And so here’s this billionaire that still sometimes has what we might call stinkin’ thinking because she said to Jesse your husband, yeah, but what haven’t, could he get killed? What happened? Isn’t that dangerous? And Jesse goes, what are you talking about? What happens if a helicopter comes and kills him? And Jesse had to look at Sarah and say, I’m Sarah. Have you ever seen a helicopter over this lake since we’ve owned this house? Well, no. Have you ever heard of a helicopter killing someone who was parasailing ever? Well, no, but it could happen.

[17:32] JANINE DRIVER: People who have sometimes stinkin’ thinking, here’s the benefit. I’m going to give you a big hug, people at home, who are like, I’m that person. I have stinkin’ thinking. I’m like, but I’m the but what if person? Here’s your strength. You set goals, you measure progress, and you update plans. You are the trend spotters of the world. You are the Frank Sinatra’s. You are the Beyoncé’s of the world. And these people, I can spot them. You don’t even have to tell me, you have stinkin’ thinking, I could spot it by your movement. And here’s what it is. People who mean backwards and forward a lot. These are the people, but what if it goes wrong, but what if I’m not respected? But what if I talk too much? These are people who are leaning into the past, in the past I’ve talked too much. I’ve taken up too much faith. I’ve lost them. But they also lean into the future. They can spot trends that are coming. That’s why they are the Jesse Itzler, who’s also a high anticipator. The Jesse Itzlers and the Sarah Blakely’s of the world.

[18:32] JANINE DRIVER: So number one, your tip is this. Name it to Taiman. Zero to ten. Seven below let it go. So hey, Sarah, how likely is a helicopter going to kill our friend who’s done this every single summer? How likely? Well, that’s like a four. Great. Then let it go.

[18:50] MONICA BROOKS: Yeah.

[18:51] JANINE DRIVER: Now, if you can’t let it go, this is what I say. I say, if you can’t giggle it off, wiggle it off. Even if this means you go into the bathroom and you wiggle, I like to dance, I listen to music. I’m not a dancer, but I like to wiggle and dance. If you babies, when babies are being developed, they roll over, right? And that stage, when they first roll over Monica and you listening at home or watching is when the baby uses the forehead and the fanny to flip their body over. If you are a mom, you would know this is the stage where babies, when you go in and they’re looking at their fingers and toes, it’s self-awareness.

[19:31] JANINE DRIVER: When we wiggle from our forehead, wiggle with me and Monica and you at home or listening or watching. So I’ve got people watching here in the hotel also wiggling, not even knowing why. I say, if you can’t giggle it off, wiggle it off. What it does is it brings us back to awareness. One more tip is you can go up on your toes and fall down, so not fall down the ground, but go up on your toes and land on the ground, up on your toes, land on the ground. If you do the five of these, what it brings us back to is the here and now, instead of all the what-ifs.

[20:04] MONICA BROOKS: Yeah.

[20:05] JANINE DRIVER: So if we can name it to tame it seven below, let it go. If you can’t giggle it off, even if you do a little shake just before you go in. And last but not least, assign yourself a positive trait, like I did at the Know Your Value event with meekaburzinski and those celebs. I said, I am strong. I am powerful. It’s like what’s his name Smiley on Saturday Night Live back in the day. People like me. People like me. But I refrain it. And I believe that what we say to ourselves, and I’m going to talk about this later in my keynote today, is if you think like a tree, what impacts our body language first is the roots of the tree. It comes first in communication. And that’s what we believe about ourselves.

[20:50] JANINE DRIVER: So if I believe I don’t have value, if I believe I’m not confident, then guess what? That’s going to show up. So that’s the roots of the tree. Then comes the trunk of the tree, which is body language. So what we believe is impacting my body language, then comes the branch. The branch is thought. So this is important. This means body language happens up to seven to nine seconds before thought. So someone can see I’m nervous before Jeanine Driver’s Brain sees a nose that I’m nervous. So if we flip the coin and we read others, we have a great advantage of decoding how our CEOs, our top leaders that we’re supporting, that we are partnering with, how they are feeling so we can help them in those moments. We’ll know seven to nine seconds in advance.

[21:38] MONICA BROOKS: That’s incredible.

[21:39] JANINE DRIVER: So that, thank you. So then their tree branches, this is thought, and then words are the leaves. That comes last. But if we think of the leaf like a tree, like a fruit or a nut or a berry, the words we say to ourselves create a new belief system that then impacts my body language, that then influence my thought. So the words we say to ourselves are really important.

[22:03] MONICA BROOKS: I think it’s also interesting though, because sometimes I don’t find myself saying the words, like I don’t say I’m not confident today. I don’t say it, but I feel like I can, I carry that. You know, it’s not, it’s not like, it’s a belief.

[22:16] JANINE DRIVER: Yeah, it’s, so is that belief system we have about ourselves and maybe not just the words, but however we have that self-doubt that sometimes is ingrained in us that we have to really intentionally undo.

[22:24] MONICA BROOKS: All right, here. Okay. I love that you’re sharing this. Let’s go back to the steeple. Okay. Okay. I’m going to bring back the steeple. Okay. This is the prayer hands, right? But we want to pop it out. All right. Like it’s a little tent that we’re making with our hands. If our eyes have been done, and literally when we steeple, guess what happens to our brain? It comes down. We become more confident. So if we don’t know why that stinking thing is in there, it’s just a belief that we have, and we steeple, it literally will begin to increase our confidence level. They have looked at your brain, and so when people just sit there and they’re talking versus when they steeple, all of a sudden, this parathosympathetic nervous system, I’m skinny, all emotional, nervous, heart rate growing, going up, not breathing right, talking a little too fast. Now, all of a sudden, steepling begins to calm that down.

[23:17] JANINE DRIVER: My dad is a mechanic in Brookline, Massachusetts, where I live in D.C. area now, Alexander, Alexander, Virginia. But my dad is a simple guy, right? He hated high school, but he kept firefighters alive by fixing fire trucks.

[23:32] MONICA BROOKS: Wow.

[23:33] JANINE DRIVER: The fire department gets sued because the firefighter falls off the fire truck. And my dad, because he’s the automatic mechanic, has to go testifying court. He says to me, Janine, I’m a nervous wreck. What am I going to do? I don’t like attention, like you and your mother. That’s not my thing. And I go, dad, just tell the truth. They had two witnesses. This firefighter was standing up drinking a cup of coffee when the truck went around the corner. He lost his balance and fell off and eventually passed away. My dad’s a nervous wreck. Well, little do I know, he sees me one time talking about steepling. But when we steeple people, we can feel confident around people. So I don’t know he saw that. He never told me. Five years until this case goes to court. Again, my dad’s still nervous. He remembered that steeple he had learned from me at an event somewhere.

[24:24] JANINE DRIVER: And I come in to Boston. I’m there for you at it. And I come in. My father gives me a hug. He goes, hey, babe, how you doing? I go, good dad. How are you? He goes, good. Janine, remember my firefighter friend that fell off the fire truck like six years ago? I said yes. He goes, guess what? Yesterday, I testified in court, Janine. Three hours, 20 minutes. I did this the whole time. It’s called steepling, Janine. The lawyers didn’t know what to do. I stole their move. Well, what my dad doesn’t realize by him steepling, he physiologically changed his nervousness level. So begin to steeple. By the way, if you ever go to Florida, up by the villages, my dad now lives over there in sin with his girlfriend, Louise. All right, so because my mom passed away, my mom passed away 12 years ago. You’ll see my dad outside of pickleball. Louise is playing pickleball or golfing. My dad sounded asleep and still in auto mechanic pants, although he’s retired. And he sounded asleep steepling.

[25:22] MONICA BROOKS: You can go up and say, Charlie, driver. I think I met your daughter once to a bug.

[25:27] JANINE DRIVER: That’s so funny. So steeple, okay. We’ll increase testosterone, decrease that cortisol. It calms your body down. So begin to steeple. One piece on this. One of my clients, her name is Desiree Gruber. And she owns a company. She’s a marketing company in New York City. She came up with the idea, her company came up with the idea of Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, which by the way, Victoria’s Secret didn’t like it first. Like this is ridiculous. They’re gonna walk down the stage in lingerie and wings. Like, well, Victoria’s Secret called them back. Said, okay, let’s give it a shot. Okay. The internet crashes. Victoria’s Secret first wasn’t happy. They’re like, no one saw it. The internet crashed. Well, it was the first time the internet ever crashed. So here’s Desiree Gruber, CEO, big, huge company, big, huge clients. She’s invited to the White House, a little nervous at the White House. She’s there with some of these heavy hitting players. I won’t say who they are. But she’s in the White House in the boardroom right next to the Oval Office.

[26:28] JANINE DRIVER: She’s nervous. Guess what she does? She’s steeple. Not only does she steeple. They end up taking a picture. She sent me that picture a year later. She goes, hey, just want to let you know, I steepled when I was around all these big political figures. She had the high steeple. I was like, you go, girl. Cause she’s got the CEO steeple or the Godfather elbows up. Elbows on the table, high steeple. Guess what that probably did for her without her realizing. Again, physiologically, calm to your body down. So begin to start steepling more. Take those deep breaths. Remind yourself, even if you don’t think you have stinking thinking, just stay the opposite. Say, I am powerful. I have something that’s going to change people’s lives today.

[27:09] MONICA BROOKS: Yes.

[27:10] JANINE DRIVER: Yes. I’ve seen it before. I’m not here to, for me, when I was in the back of that room, I’m not here to be the celebrity actress from Sex and the City. I’m not here to be Bobby Brown, the makeup artist. I’m not here to be Martha Stewart, this business Titan. I have a bottom language tip that can make you a better mother, a better EO, a better EA, a better everything.

[22:03] MONICA BROOKS: I think it’s also interesting though, because sometimes I don’t find myself saying the words, like I don’t say I’m not confident today. I don’t say it, but I feel like I can, I carry that. You know, it’s not, it’s not like, it’s a belief.

[22:16] JANINE DRIVER: Yeah, it’s, so is that belief system we have about ourselves and maybe not just the words, but however we have that self-doubt that sometimes is ingrained in us that we have to really intentionally undo.

[22:24] MONICA BROOKS: All right, here. Okay. I love that you’re sharing this. Let’s go back to the steeple. Okay. Okay. I’m going to bring back the steeple. Okay. This is the prayer hands, right? But we want to pop it out. All right. Like it’s a little tent that we’re making with our hands. If our eyes have been done, and literally when we steeple, guess what happens to our brain? It comes down. We become more confident. So if we don’t know why that stinking thing is in there, it’s just a belief that we have, and we steeple, it literally will begin to increase our confidence level. They have looked at your brain, and so when people just sit there and they’re talking versus when they steeple, all of a sudden, this parathosympathetic nervous system, I’m skinny, all emotional, nervous, heart rate growing, going up, not breathing right, talking a little too fast. Now, all of a sudden, steepling begins to calm that down.

[23:17] JANINE DRIVER: My dad is a mechanic in Brookline, Massachusetts, where I live in D.C. area now, Alexander, Alexander, Virginia. But my dad is a simple guy, right? He hated high school, but he kept firefighters alive by fixing fire trucks.

[23:32] MONICA BROOKS: Wow.

[23:33] JANINE DRIVER: The fire department gets sued because the firefighter falls off the fire truck. And my dad, because he’s the automatic mechanic, has to go testifying court. He says to me, Janine, I’m a nervous wreck. What am I going to do? I don’t like attention, like you and your mother. That’s not my thing. And I go, dad, just tell the truth. They had two witnesses. This firefighter was standing up drinking a cup of coffee when the truck went around the corner. He lost his balance and fell off and eventually passed away. My dad’s a nervous wreck. Well, little do I know, he sees me one time talking about steepling. But when we steeple people, we can feel confident around people. So I don’t know he saw that. He never told me. Five years until this case goes to court. Again, my dad’s still nervous. He remembered that steeple he had learned from me at an event somewhere.

[24:24] JANINE DRIVER: And I come in to Boston. I’m there for you at it. And I come in. My father gives me a hug. He goes, hey, babe, how you doing? I go, good dad. How are you? He goes, good. Janine, remember my firefighter friend that fell off the fire truck like six years ago? I said yes. He goes, guess what? Yesterday, I testified in court, Janine. Three hours, 20 minutes. I did this the whole time. It’s called steepling, Janine. The lawyers didn’t know what to do. I stole their move. Well, what my dad doesn’t realize by him steepling, he physiologically changed his nervousness level. So begin to steeple. By the way, if you ever go to Florida, up by the villages, my dad now lives over there in sin with his girlfriend, Louise. All right, so because my mom passed away, my mom passed away 12 years ago. You’ll see my dad outside of pickleball. Louise is playing pickleball or golfing. My dad sounded asleep and still in auto mechanic pants, although he’s retired. And he sounded asleep steepling.

[25:22] MONICA BROOKS: You can go up and say, Charlie, driver. I think I met your daughter once to a bug.

[25:27] JANINE DRIVER: That’s so funny. So steeple, okay. We’ll increase testosterone, decrease that cortisol. It calms your body down. So begin to steeple. One piece on this. One of my clients, her name is Desiree Gruber. And she owns a company. She’s a marketing company in New York City. She came up with the idea, her company came up with the idea of Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, which by the way, Victoria’s Secret didn’t like it first. Like this is ridiculous. They’re gonna walk down the stage in lingerie and wings. Like, well, Victoria’s Secret called them back. Said, okay, let’s give it a shot. Okay. The internet crashes. Victoria’s Secret first wasn’t happy. They’re like, no one saw it. The internet crashed. Well, it was the first time the internet ever crashed. So here’s Desiree Gruber, CEO, big, huge company, big, huge clients. She’s invited to the White House, a little nervous at the White House. She’s there with some of these heavy hitting players. I won’t say who they are. But she’s in the White House in the boardroom right next to the Oval Office.

[26:28] JANINE DRIVER: She’s nervous. Guess what she does? She’s steeple. Not only does she steeple. They end up taking a picture. She sent me that picture a year later. She goes, hey, just want to let you know, I steepled when I was around all these big political figures. She had the high steeple. I was like, you go, girl. Cause she’s got the CEO steeple or the Godfather elbows up. Elbows on the table, high steeple. Guess what that probably did for her without her realizing. Again, physiologically, calm to your body down. So begin to start steepling more. Take those deep breaths. Remind yourself, even if you don’t think you have stinking thinking, just stay the opposite. Say, I am powerful. I have something that’s going to change people’s lives today.

[27:09] MONICA BROOKS: Yes.

[27:10] JANINE DRIVER: Yes. I’ve seen it before. I’m not here to, for me, when I was in the back of that room, I’m not here to be the celebrity actress from Sex and the City. I’m not here to be Bobby Brown, the makeup artist. I’m not here to be Martha Stewart, this business Titan. I have a bottom language tip that can make you a better mother, a better EO, a better EA, a better everything.

MONICA BROOKS: Jenny, this has been incredible. And I feel like we could probably sit here and talk for hours because this is so fascinating. But I would love to share with the listeners where they can learn more about you.

JANINE DRIVER: You can find me over my name, janinedriver.com, J-A-N-I-N-E, driver like a taxi driver. My mother would always say, why don’t you say a limousine driver? It sounds so much better than a taxi driver. I go, mom, either way, we’re driving people crazy. All right, so janinedriver.com. I’m also on social media. You can find me over there on Instagram. Everything on TikTok. And I have a new podcast called In The Driver Seat, with Janine Driver.

MONICA BROOKS: Ooh, I like it.

JANINE DRIVER: And I just am taking a U-turn on it. And as of right now, I do these quick little drive-by’s. They’re about nine minutes long. And I do these hits. But I’m like, if I’m in the driver’s seat, you’re only in the driver’s seat if you have a guest. Right, so you have to have a passenger. So yesterday, after I talked to a friend of mine here, Frazier O’Leary, who helps people with marketing, he said, if you’re in the driver’s seat, then you have to have a guest. And I said, oh my gosh. So I’m going to start interviewing people. So it’s amazing out there that wants to be interviewed. You have a skill, a tip that you can give people that can help their brain, their body, their influence. You know, get in touch with me over at juneandriver.com. My cell phone number is on there. It’s not a Google number.

MONICA BROOKS: Wow.

JANINE DRIVER: You can literally text me. And my mother last night, but not at least Monica, is my mother always said she was a nurse for elderly homeless people. And she said, your power is what you give to others. So I’m here to serve. I know I’m a better version of me when I’m serving. So whoever’s listening or watching, if I can serve you in any way, please let me know how it can help. My mother would say, when you say take what you need, take what you need, and you open your hands, and people take what they need, you’ll be left with more than if we just hang on to it. So I’m a giver. I’m generous.

MONICA BROOKS: Wonderful words of wisdom, Janine, to end on. Thank you so much for being on the admin edge. And I know that your keynote here at EAI is going to be phenomenal.

JANINE DRIVER: It’s going to be so fun. As a matter of fact, I’m going to pull a couple more last minute videos that I want to show people doing these little techniques coming in soft. And if I can tell one tiny five-second story, which is I spoke to a big, huge credit card company six days ago. And it was six hours. And it was in a boardroom. So people are sitting sideways talking for six hours, looking at me. It’s like being on an airplane for six hours, talking to the person next to you. I failed epically. And so I get it wrong more than I get it right sometimes. So if you sometimes get it wrong, it’s OK. Do a reset.

MONICA BROOKS: Yep.

JANINE DRIVER: I call them resets. And what I realized, preparing for this event, I go, oh, when we are in a small space, it increases the other person’s stress hormone. So if I can give you this last tip, if you are on a Zoom call or you’re coaching your CEOs to be on a Zoom call, please make sure you see your body language. We want to see from the belly button up. Because when we see more space, it’s less of a threat. Our brain, when we see it, when you take up all my visual territory with just your face, it’s like your face is inside my face. What are you in front of me? What are you going to do about it? So we want to make sure whether it’s us or our coaching our CEOs, give ourselves a little space.

[25:51] MONICA BROOKS: OK.

[25:52] JANINE DRIVER: And more of the story is, I get it wrong too. Do a reset. It’s OK. It’s OK. It’s totally fine. We’re going to have to get it right next time.

[26:01] MONICA BROOKS: Awesome.

[27:49] LEAH WARWICK: Thank you for listening to The Admin Edge, produced by the American Society of Administrative Professionals. Our original music and audio editing by Warwick Productions, with audio and video production by 5Tool Productions. If you like this podcast, please leave us a nice review, five stars, and subscribe. If you’d like to submit a listener question, you may do so on our website at asaporg.com/podcast.